i hate this world .

feeling tired . have been sleeping in the afternoon for 2 days ! for lyk 2 hours ! which i have never done it before and now ! DAMN TIRED ! maybe because if speech day and studies and yeah wadever . speech day rehearsals are boring and school is even worse . 45 mins per period can drive a person crazy ! and the principal still can say it can lighten our bags . it's total rubbish . tues , one period , one subject . total 7 subjects . BORING ! cant concentrate on anything >< .

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way
About me, just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl?
Are we just friends?
Is there more?
Is there more?
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we could be, where this thing could go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay
This crush ain't going away-ay-ay
Going away
Going away-ay-ay
Going away-ay-ay

PURE RANDOM-NESS

woke up today . == realised that my fever got worse . feeling weak now ><>< . going out wif PC-MIX later ^^ feeling excited , but i cant show it . i just feel lyk sleeping uhh . gosh . tired ><

just read your blogs today . and i just realised it is lyk getting emo-er ? OMG ! can you guys cheer up ? dun think so much yeah ?

wow . today went to science center half awake ...
it was freaking boring over there ><><>< xDD .

anyways . yesterday didn't went for ICT xDD went out with prasana , moe , jian cheng and eben xDD . we went to the gym . it was a long time since i went there though xDD i ran for so long ! and cycled for 30 mins >< damn tiring la . i also feel lyk puking xDD .

tomorrow need to go to IHCP at 9 am . freaking early . feeling sick . throat infection , headaches and a slight fever . BLOCK NOSE ! haiish . but still hafta go haha . the taxi fare today was CRAZY ! my cab was 33.80 and wei shen's cab is 25.10 altogether 58.90 ! xDD but not our money xDD

wow . it's been crazy these few days ><
so many things are going on in my life and i feel so freaking stress ! yeah . wadever . today . school was fine . sorted out some things . well i dunno whether isit or not but who cares ? got back report book . didn't really do well . haha . father nagged at me for failing my chinese ! CHINESE ! i hate chinese . it's so boring >< got an F9 haha . but i dun really care about it . holidays dun feels lyk holiday to me . got ICT on monday . V-CAMP on tuesday and wednesday . and finally PC-MIX ! can go out on a thursday . haha . it's been a long time ^^ friday , i dunno wads going on in my life at that time . lots of holiday homework to do . so mathias prepare to receive your homework on monday ^^

just wanna let PC-MIX know that haha . I LOVE YOU GUYS ! xDD will always be there for you guys ^^ if you have any problems can always come to me de ^^ dun hestitate to call me haha . and prasana , i thought you didn't want to post about wad happen at audrey's house ? why are you still posting it . xDD anyways , had a great time .

feeling so stress nowadays . i need gto have a break man . i feeling so irritated in my head O.o wanna use the com but my father dun allow . i nid to relieve stress haha . my father still say i give him face to see when he dun allow when i never . O.o that's what i hate uhh . xDD

after speech day rehearsal today . AHMAD didn't come (implying something to someone) . so only when we have full attendance than he dun come . wth ? so suay lor . i went to church . xDD had a cooking competition . and yeah . my group got 165 points . not the highest though but really had a lot of fun cooking . smiley face omelette xDD ~ and thanks nora jie for the ice cream . it was really delicious xDD !

so yeah . today have school again . pathetic . so boring haha xDD .

thanks NORA JIE !
hehe . for helping me change my blogskin again haha .

walked back home today uhh . yeah . and wad . someone wanna severe ties with me just because he finds that he have no friends . hey . i'm your friend right ? and he wanna ask me to choose whether to be with pc-mix or him . HEY ! you are all my friends WADS THERE TO CHOOSE ! i find this very ridiculous . just because of this . i dun give you an answer you severe ties with me . WOW ! i mean . seriously . wads the problem with you . no one talks to you . AM I A HUMAN ? yes right ? THEN !! you think that if you severe ties with me it will solve your problem ? NO ! and you only make me have problems . cant you just wake up ? you are making ASSUMPTIONS ! ASSUMPTIONS ! ASSUMPTIONS ! ASSUPMTIONS ! ASSUPTIONS !
I HATE ASSUMPTIONS ! because that it not true ! and hey ! PC-MIX will not be unhappy when i just leave them for one day a week . i mean , it's just eating with another friend . they got no problem with that . and you are making ASSUPMTION that they are angry with me because i go out with you . WTH ! you dun deserve respect ? then EARN IT ! hey . pc-mix also have their other friends . if they go out with their other friends to eat . if i get angry just because of that , dun you find that pathetic , huh ? COME ON ! ARGH !!!!!!! and if you think just because of this , you will think that other people will think that you are trying to break my friendship with pc-mix . i tell you NO ! you are just making assumptions . respect , respect . have you ever think that respect is something which you have to earn . not sit down on your chair and you will get it . I'M STILL YOUR FRIEND ! I TALK TO YOU ! AND BECAUSE NOBODY TALKS TO YOU YOU WANNA SEVERE TIES WITH ME ? WTH ! I'M SO PISSED NOW YOU KNOW THAT ? ALL BECAUSE OF YOU MY DAY GOT WORSE ! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF OTHER PEOPLE FEELING ? YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER ? NO ! I MAY LOOK ALRIGHT WITH IT BUT HELL NO ! IF YOU THINK THAT YOU BEING EMO EVERYWHERE YOU GO CAN HELP YOU THEN GO AHEAD ! TO THINK THAT ACTUALLY THIS YEAR WE AT LEAST GET TO TALK AFTER SCHOOL AND ALL THAT . YOU HAVE TO COME OUT WITH SOME STUPID LOGIC ! HEY , IF YOU SAY ONLY AFTER SCHOOL CAN TALK AND RECESS AND ALL THAT CANNOT , HAVE YOU EVER THINK THAT LAST YEAR WE DID NOT EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER AT ALL ? AND YOUR RESULTS , DOESN'T MEAN YOU LOSE TO THEM YOU MUST BE EMO . COME ON , LOSING DOEN'T MEAN ANYTHING . IT'S JUST MARKS !

err ...
sorry guys . ><><>< but i cant helped it uhh . feeling very hurt inside . wanna scream ... but nothing comes out . it's all still inside . i just can believe that this kind of things happen in this world . you know how that feels ? argh ... feeling very weird . kinda breatheless now .
LOVE YA PC-MIX !
and all my jies !! xDD
being random is my forte ?

so jen sin just wanna let you know that i'm no longer angry with you and you have to feel that wayeither . i read your blog .

haha . this is my 100th post . after 2 years . O.o xDD . so , speech day training was so boring .== nid to stand in the hot sun for almost 4 hours . feel so tired uhh . haha . feeling so sick uhh . got sore throat ( maybe throat infection) and blocked nose . for 2 daysalready . very xin ku>< . feel lyk dying . whole body feeling weak == . dun feel lyk moving . xDD . after speech day training walked to mrt station with him . well . i was rushing home because i got somethingto attend to. nid to collect my phone before the time is given xDD . so thetrain arrived and me andhim was able to board it . but he gave some stupid excuse saying that he got stomachache . and i was pissed . he was just acting to have it just because he wanna skip the train and take the next one . but i was rushing . RUSHING ! damn . but nvm i got angry . and wad ? you got angry and expect me to take the first move to apologise ? i did that already but you didn't reply . hey , just wanna let you know that is you make me angry not i make you angry . gosh . haiish . so looks lyk the person i can trust is also going down huh ? ... i dun wan it to be lyk this but i dunno why isit lyk this so now isit my fault or your fault ? i dunno . .

my life is turning upsidedown .

but yeah . at least i know i still have friends who cares about me . well . of cos PC-MIX ! and sorry mathias for not sitting with you in class . i thought that you are gonna sit with wan qin and you told mme that she was gonna sit with nicole sim . but i thought she will change her mind uhh . seriously sorry >< .

stressed ~

physics test was crap . it is so difficult la . i cant even think of any solution to some of the questionss lyk the diamond question ? i wrote crap . and i think that my marks would definitely be crap too . A maths test ? i did score okay . but it's the careless mistakes that killed me. dun even wanna talk about it . just hope that i could pass sec 3 at 70% . well that's my target . and i hope i can do it . feeling so stressed out with friends and studies . how i wish it could all stop . no problems and i'll be fine .

feeling so eff up right now ? dunno wad to do . i just cant handle with friendships . i feel so useless uhh . well . maybe it's my problem . maybe IT IS my problem . haiish . just cant take it . though sometimes i may look strong on the outside , but on the inside i'm weak . and seriously weak .

at night went to THE PASTA SHOP at wheelock place . very nice . unique taste. love the food there . though it is alittle bit expensive but it's worth paying for . ^^

hmmm . so today we got back the english paper . teacher mark it strictly . and i am so relieved that i passed >< . it has been a long and boring da uhh . sitting in front makes me feel lyk sleeping but i cant . and that's a good thing . haha . feedback form given to our class to write about wad can be improve in this school . wow . our class wrote more than one pages . i guess we all have a lot to complain ar ? xDD .

"haven really talk to you yesterday and today . feels kinda weird .
but yeah . it will soon get better ^^ " to someone ^^

i will just act as cheeerful as i can in school . though i know that nothing can change how i feel in my heart . not even if you found out and apologise to me . i dun give a damn anymore .

it's not because of the e.maths test that i'm sad about, on friday . (though i get very low) . it is the unbelievable truth that i found out on that day . i wasn't emo-ing about the test ! so wad if i got 34 for the test ? i dun care much about that . i found out the truth during geography lesson . it seems lyk i was quite quiet during that lesson is because of that . i just can't believe it . to think that i trust you . i always treated you as my friend but i didn't think that this would happen . why ? i was damn fucked up when i saw it . haiish . looks lyk i cant trust anyone now uhh . about this matter only one person besides me knows about it . the last month when i emo-ed you said this . and now it is always in my mind . i dunno why but i cried on that day during recess in the toilet . that's the reason why i wanna go to the toilet . i always treated you as a best friend and FUCK ! you just ... wadever . everytime you did something wrong or anger me i will just put it aside and now when i do something you bitch . how very nice of you . should i thank you for that ? i dunno . it just seems lyk everything is turning upsidedown in my life . ><